Fake quote from Fisk: "We need the best. No, the best of the best"

First established some time ago, the goal of Splatoon Beginners Academy is to train elite players to take part in underground tournaments.

"We need the best. No, we need the best of the best," explained Fisk Rodríguez, chancellor of the prestigious school and bald. "Being skilled enough to pass the entrance exam isn't an easy feat, we have an acceptance rate of 6.7%"

The curriculum includes advanced topics such as weapon names, maximum number of players allowed in the lobby, and choosing team names that are not unnecessarily hostile to commentators.

"If you think you have what it takes, go signup," Fisk said. "Let's find out if you have it in you."

An orange balloon with the SBA logo with text to the right reading "Stronghold Beginners Academy." On the bottom, text reads "Season 6 sign ups are live! splatoonstronghold.com/academy."